Who Throws a Shoe? Eastern Oregon Penitentiary.

Winter break is here, as is the snow, and naturally, so is the boredom.

According to an RA on my floor, there are 12-18 kids in the dorms, which means I am 12-18 times more likely to go insane.

Thankfully, pissed off Iraqi journalists keep me entertained.

If you haven't seen this, watch it.

After studying this carefully, and many many times over, it is clear President Bush was at one time a Ninja with cat-like reflexes.

Or a cat, with Ninja-like reflexes.

Also, apparently he used to be a comedian, saying in the aftermath of the shoe-chucking incident that he thinks the shoes were size 10.

But he also certainly must be a liar, because those shoes were coming at him at a rapid pace, and there's no way one could decipher the difference between a size 8 and a size 10.

Also, it is apparent that the whole thing was just a big misunderstanding.

Just prior to the shoe being thrown, Bush said a phrase in Arabic. He was trying to say, "First off, let me say It's an honor to be here, and I wish for great things and a prosporous future for Iraq and it's people."

Turns out, he said, "I will give one hundred dollars to the person who can hit me the hardest with a random object. "

The Iraqi journalist later went on to say "I noticed his dress shoes when he walked into the room. They looked uncomfortable, and perhaps a little tight on him. I wear size 10, so I was just trying to help him out. Looking back on it, I probaly shouldn't have violently threw them at him. Maybe next time, a gentle toss, or perhaps a hand-off would be more appropriate. My apologies. Obama '08"

That was completely sattirical and sarcastic, so don't take it seriously.

I like to compare being stuck on campus during winter break to serving a 2 week prison sentence.

We have to put up a piece of paper on our doors that says "OCCUPIED," cuz the RA's ran out of printer ink to say "THESE KIDS DON'T GET TO SEE THEIR FAMILIES AND HAVE TO STAY IN LA GRANDE FOR 2 WEEKS. ALL OF US ARE SORRY. REALLY, REALLY SORRY."

You get your mandatory physical exercise with 2 hours of basketball practice, and an hour of weight lifting. Whether you like it or not. And for the next few weeks, coach is applying a 'bitch' rule, where if you lose in any games in practice, the person who beat you has ownership over you for 24 hours.

The cafeteria is closed, so we are forced to provide food for ourselves. As a poor college student, desperate times call for desperate measures. So, I decided to live on Iams and Puppy Chow for 2 weeks. I have already developed a healthy coat of fur, I've been licking myself alot lately, and I was recently put on a leash and shock-collar because I bit the kid across the hall.

Woof.

My roommate takes the whole prison thing a little too literally. La Grande can get mighty lonely in the cold winter months. Ouch.

Someone gave our RA a night-stick, and I think she is taking it too far, because if I turn my music up too loud, or slam a door, or breathe too loud, I am immediately put in my place. Yes maam.

And to top it all off, I am paying 120 dollars to do all of this. Prisoners at least get to stay for free.

Or for our tax dollars.

Hm...I'm feeling awfully rebellious.

I think I'll go throw a shoe.

Until next time, my shock collar tells me it's time for dinner. Or maybe i just stepped out of my 20 foot radius. Or maybe my roomie is feelin' frisky.

Woof.