The wheels on the bus go round and round.

There's the old logic that says no matter how bad things are for someone, there's always someone out there who has it worse.

Your dog will die of cancer, then somebody will come up to you and say, "Dude, there are kids starving in Africa."

Your parents will get a divorce, and someone will enlighten you, saying "Dude, there are people who's dogs die of cancer."

Then you will find yourself in Kenya, scrapping for a bite to eat, and somebody will come up to you and say, "Dude, there are people whose parents are getting divorced right now. And some of those people also happen to have dogs. Dogs that die of cancer."

As if this is supposed to make ANYONE feel better?

Yeah, my dog just died, but at least I have a full stomach.

I've decided to apply this logic to my own life.

After a weekend that was just short of spectacular, finals week on deck and 3 weeks in the vacant dorms to look forward to, I've decided to compile a list to make myself feel better.

Let's call it...

"Things worse than a ten hour bus ride to get your ass kicked by the #1 team in the nation after being ahead at the half, and also losing to a team that your high school's JV team could put up a fight with...List"

1. Your suitemate deciding to move the drum set from "Rockband" into his room. The walls are very thin, and my patience is consistently tested in the form of "BANG BANG BANG BANG" in a rhythmic pattern, forced to listen to songs like Lit's "Own Worst Enemy." I actually used to like the song. Until it was completely ruined by Rockband and plastic drum sets.

"God Damnet. This song is fuckin' hard. Shit! I guess I'll do it again. Even louder and more obnoxiously loud. Oh, it's 2 a.m.? I bet my suitemate isn't sleeping. He's probaly at basketball practice or something." BANG BANG BANG.

2. Drew Gooden's facial hair.

3. Getting made fun of by OIT's fans, especially when you don't even play. I was literally just listening to Coach Looney give out instructions to the team, and I looked up, to see an older lady staring me directy in the eyes.

I stared back.

"Hey 42!"

Me: "Oh god...what? I'm just standing here. What could this elderly woman possibly have against me? My poor posture on the bench? Was I slouching? Did I forget to grab a towel for the starters when they came in?"

"Hey! Hey 42! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Me: "Really? Boooooo? Who does that?"

Her kids started to join in. All 5 of them.

"HEY! 42! BOOOO!!! BOOOOOO!!!"

Later in the game, i was gazing off behind the bench, only to find a kid who couldn't have been a day over 14 tap his friend on the shoulder, and whisper "Hey, doesn't 42 remind you of..."

As soon as he said "of," I immediately shifted my eyes from him to back on the court, in fear of more embarrassment.

So, for now, I am going to assume the next word uttered out of this kids mouth was "Brad Pitt."

Why yes. Yes he does remind me of Brad Pitt.

"BOOOOOOOOO!"

4. The Holocaust. That was pretty bad.

5. Staying in the dorms for 2 of the 3 weeks of winter break. And having to pay 120 dollars to do so.

6. Nickelback.

I feel better already.

Shifting gears, I have started to pick up on some of the slang that many of my teammates use on a regular basis.

For example, this weekend, I was accused of "clowning."

I believe the context was "Yo', I went to dis circus, and dey waz Clownin'!"

I was later informed that I had made a humorous statement, and i was indeed, "clowning."

I was also told that I am someone's "guy."

Last I checked, I am not romantically involved with anyone.

"Dart, fuck you man. But...you're my guy."

Thanks?

"Man, Chamillionaire is the Hottest in the GAME!"

"No man, it's gotta be Lil' Wayne. He's my guy. But he's clownin' on his tracks, na meen?"

"Why did you go and buy that jewelry/and waste your scrill/ when I buy green diamonds/ It's a baseball field."

If this keeps up, pretty soon I will be everyone's guy, I will be clowning all the time, and I will be the proud owner of a major league baseball stadium. If that lofty dream is good enough for Chamillitary Maine, it's good enough for me."

Until then, I'm gonna work on getting my body clock back on track after 6 a.m. bedtimes, and hopefully pass some finals.