My Spring Broke and This Blanket Makes my Forearms Cold.

Spring Break is like a box of chocolates, you go home and really enjoy yourself and seeing your family, and then you return to La Grande and realize how much you miss Bend.

Spring Break is like a box of chocolates, it's 7 days away from college, then you go back and realize school is hard, and time consuming.

Spring Break is like a box of chocolates, except if you ask to buy a "spring break" at a candy-shop, the people at the cash register look at you weird, and politely ask you to leave.

However, if you ask to buy a box of chocolates, they smile at you, and charge you 15 dollars for delicious bite-sized treats.

I don't really see the correlation, but forrest gump was a good movie, and I have recently become fond of shrimp.

Either way, at this time of year, everyone is kind of coming back to reality, just like that one Eminem song, and most of us are nervous and have vomit on our sweaters because our mom makes very spaghetti that evidently makes our stomachs feel uneasy.

For the rest of us, we are not white rap stars in Michigan, we are college students who miss home, and need a little comfort.

For those of you searching for this comfort, I introduce to you, the best invention ever created, the Snuggie.

Some would say "Hey, this is just a Blanket, with sleeves. Also known as a long-sleeve T-shirt, or a sweater, or a sweatshirt."

To that, I would say "Screw you, how many blankets do you own that make your family look like a cult!? Besides, have you ever had to answer the phone when you have a blanket on top of you? Its HORRIFIC. Let us all pray to god you don't need to pet the dog, or pick up the remote, because we all know how terribly inconvenient it is to have our forearms cold. Thank you snuggie, you are the best sleeve-blanket-cult/monk-looking product since bathrobes."

To that, you would most definitely reply with "Gee, Sean, what a great point. Here is my credit card number."

To that, I would say, "Maaahama," which you would most likely reply with "What did you just say?" And then I would say "baaaauglhalaal," and eventually our conversation would end with me buying alot of shit with your credit card, and you never talking to me again because I don't put together actual sentences, and I drool when I speak.

It was nice knowing you. Now buy a snuggie.

On top of that, school is officially back in session, and we are all forming unfair stereotypes about our teachers and classmates. Most people find it appropriate to repress these stereotypes, and wait to actually "Know" or "Speak to" the person or persons before forming outlandish judgements about these people or peoples. However, I like to celebrate these pre-concieved ignorant notions, and by "celebrate" I mean post them on the internet and tell all of my facebook friends to read it.

Anyway, I am 21% sure one of my male teachers has an unhealthy affinity for young female students, because I tried flirting with him, and he TOTALLY denied me* and I am also 34% convinced that one of my professors has an affinity for young male students, because I totally flirted with him, and he was diggin' it. Other than that, my other professor is clearly a drug dealer, and I sit next to a lizard it 3 of my 4 classes. The 4th? They are self-admitted to be legally insanse, diabetic, and consequentially, a rabbit. Further research is necessary, but so far, I have never been wrong about my stereotypes. Except for that one time I put them in my blog. THAT was stupid.

*No homo.

I am not entirely sure how many people read this blog, so I am inserting a tracking device into your computer as you read this. I also just stole a roll of toilet paper, ate your leftover pasta, and made your bed. I thought the last one was a nice gesture. That camera in your room? You need to leave it. It is necessary for me to further continue my research, aka "watching you sleep."

Anyway, I thought I would try to make this interactive, so as we are all in our first week of classes, lets make fun of our professors and talk about the reptiles we sit next to the only noble way in the world...anonymously over the internet! Share your stories by clicking "comment," and if you are not a "follower" of this blog, click on the link that says "follow this blog."

After that, leave me your social security number, and I will send you 2 complimentary snuggies for your participation, and for your forearms to be warm at all times.