They call me dishsoap because I'm so concentrated.

A great philospoher once asked: "are people naturally good, or are they naturally evil?"

"Must man continue to be motivated to do good? Or is it in our nature to do good?"

"If we had the choice, would we sit on our collective asses and play xbox 360 all day? Or would we go out and cure world hunger?"

It's an interesting debate, and in my Media Arts class, we discussed it, and I decided to take the side of man having naturally good intentions.

For the record, everyone in the class besides me concluded that overall, man are naturally bad.

As a population, man naturally know right from wrong, and act accordingly. They have good intentions, they want to do good.

No man WANTS to mess things up for everyone, no man WANTS to waste their life away. Man knows whats good and whats bad.

Right?

Then the girl behind me got mad because I kept saying "Man" instead of a more politically correct "People."

Then the kid in the corner of the class who spits chewing tobacco residue in his used gatorade bottle everyday thought it was "gay" of me to have such a hopeful outlook on fellow man. Err...fellow "people."

"That fag is optomistic...how gay."

Then it was halloween night, at the EOU volleyball game, and this kid next to me reeked of dog piss and whiskey, and was telling his friend all about his fantastic night.

Dog Piss kid: What up man?

Other kid: Nothin' man, just watchin' the game how are you?

Dog Piss kid: I'm fuckin' wasted! I'm Barack Obama! I'm Shit-Housed! This is awesome!

I figured this man who was smelling of domestic pet-waste was either having an identity crisis,
or maybe he was an avid John McCain supporter, as I have never heard the words "Obama" and "Shithoused" in the same sentence.

That is mostly probaly because Shithouse is not technically a word.

The kid put on a Barack Obama mask after sharing his drunkeness with everyone, and suddenly the world made sense again.

I started thinking about the discussion in class. Maybe I was wrong, maybe man is naturally bad.

The girl in the row behind me in the crowd rolled her eyes.

excuse me..."people."

Then I proceeded to laugh hysterically at a certain Jay Leno joke directed towards a certain person with a rather 'outstanding' facial feature.

I took a proverbial step back, and really started thinking about the discussion again.

Then some athletic girls started bouncing around in spandex, and I kinda lost my train of thought.

Where were we again?

Oh yeah. Man. Man are good. Good man. People. People are good.

Then I walked back to my dorm room seriously wondering why we call it halloween anymore, when it should be called "Girls get to dress up as total sluts and not get shit-talked about them by other girls, cuz it's like halloween, and it's like, just a costume day."

I decided that title wasn't really catchy, and as soon as I was about to write a letter to the national holiday-naming-association, some girl walked past me, and her clevage literally jumped out of her shirt and punched me square in the face.

Dizzied by the hormones, my mind traveled elsewhere.

I envisioned our conversation going something like this:

Me: What are you supposed to be?

Clevage girl: I'm a whore.

Me: I appreciate your honesty.

The cool part about this particular costume was she was ACTUALLY a hooker. Like some girls dress up as cops or school girls or slutty construction workers, but this girl wasn't playing any games.

She was just coming right out and saying it.

I'm a prostitute.

She even had handcuffs, fishnets, and Herpes to compliment the dollar bills hanging out of her buttcrack.

What were we talking about again?

Oh yeah, man is good. People are great!

Then the kid across the hall accused me of stealing his beer, and I was able to kick him out of my room before he spewed stomach acid all over the walls of his own suite.

I'm really starting to second guess this whole "man are naturally good" thing.

Then my suitemate walked into the room with a big bag of what looked like groceries.

Before I could even ask him what it is, he said "This is food for my picnic today. I am going to be nice to my girlfriend, and feed her food so she is happy, so she will have more sex with me"

Me: I appreciate your honesty.

Seeking some guidance and enlightenment, I took a stroll down the hall, only to find Ghandi, Jesus, Lance Armstrong, Oprah and Allah.

Suddenly, everything was ok. Man is good. Sure, we have our moments, but for the most part, we are good.

Then i cleared my eyes, blinked a few times, and found it wasn't really spiritual icons I was seeing, it was a whiteboard, with the words "Allison is a HOE!" and some more random explitives scribbled on the Resident Assistants "suggestions" section.

But I think the people living across the hall were named Jesus (Hey-zoos) Gabriella (which sounds like Ghandi kinda.) and their roomate owns a bike, and only one testicle, so I figured it was close enough to Lance.

Allison was Allah, and I was convinced this is the closest thing to salvation the dorm life at EOU would give me.
It's no judgement day, but who's counting?