Potatoes and Annoying Teacher Tendencies

Sorry about the delay of blog entries. Unfortunately, the past 2 weekends, I have been in the shit-stain state, aka Idaho.

Last weekend we lost by 5 to Division 1 Idaho State University, and all you really need to know about that game is that one of their players looked like a hybrid of Frankenstein, Darko Millicic and that big Russian boxer in one of the Rocky movies.

I got to play, for like a minute, and in that span of time, I managed to get scored on by this 6’10 Russian man, almost turn the ball over, and twist an ankle.

Freshman year is awesome.

This past weekend, we were in Idaho for the Golden Rule Shootout, at the College of Idaho. We went 1-1 and I found out that there is a magnet taped to the hands of defenders and the ball, but only when I am in possession of it.

I think I played 50 seconds before seeing the opposite color jersey of mine, and essentially giftwrapping the ball, and gently handing it to the other team. Twice.

Here…have a lay-up!

I didn’t play much that game, or the rest of the weekend, and I can’t complain.

That’s the worst. Every player would like to think the coach is out to get them, and you are really really really good, but coach just doesn’t give you a chance. Then there’s times when you get a chance, and you take that chance, and take a shit on it.

That’s what I did, but then I decided to start thinking of sport clichés to make me feel better.
Kevin Garnett’s “NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE” didn’t quite do it for me. Allen Iversons “PRACTICE!!!??” made me wanna throw up. And Shaq’s “BLUUGUGHGUGHUGHGUGHHHGUGHG BLUUUGGHUUUDY GLUB BLUG GULBB BLUG I’m the diesel, baby,” wasn’t exactly applicable.

So, I adopted my own modern day sports quote.

“Wow, I really blew it tonight. I mean…I played terrible. I think I will write a blog dedicated to my sucking. BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.”

But the truth is, if you have read this far, you probably don’t give a s-word about how many turnovers I have.

But you know what you do want to know?

Every town in Idaho smells like a condiment you put on a baked potato.

One town we drove through smelled EXCLUSIVELY like bacon. Last time I checked, bacon on a baked potato is good.

Then, the next town we stopped in smelled like cheese. Cheddar cheese. Cheddar cheese on a baked potato is good.

During the rest of the weekend, I caught whiffs of ranch, butter, chives, and sour cream, depending on what town we were in.

It makes sense really. Idaho is known as the Potato state, right? So the cities of the potato state should be known as accessories to the baked potato.

So, like Florida, the sunshine state, probably has a lot of towns that smell like sunscreen, towels, sand, and UV rays.

mmmmm…smells warm.

This has nothing to do with anything, but I have recently started paying attention to all of my teachers annoying tendencies. The most apparent of them all is that my Biology teacher talks with her eyes closed.

Who does that???

She literally stands in front of class, puts on a power-point, and sleep-talks the whole period.

Sometimes I want to throw my pen at her just to make sure she’s awake.

But the weirdest part about it is she is never dosing off or anything. She is always SUPER energetic. But she never has her eyes open.
It doesn’t seem to bother anyone else, but it disrupts my learning process, and I would like to blame her eye-shutting techniques for the D I received on the last test.

My math teacher is awesome, but he possesses no control over the volume of his voice.

We will be doing a problem, and one moment, he will be quietly muttering to himself, turned away from the class, then the next, he turns his body, and basically starts yelling at the class.

“The x’s cancel, foil out the parentheses…AND SOLVE FOR X! SOLVE FOR X! THE X’s CANCEL! SO SOLVE FOR X!”

Mr. Gregersen, I would love to solve for x, but my eardrums are bleeding.
We had a fire drill last week, and I was shocked, because I thought those ended in high school along with lunch detentions and hall passes, but what I was more surprised at was the fact it took a good 3 unbearably loud BEEP BEEP BEEP’s for my math teacher to catch on to the fact we were indeed having a fire drill.

Turns out he thought it was someone’s cell phone.

No, professor, the building is on fire.

“SOLVE FOR X!!!!”

I don’t want to think about what would happen if my Science teacher AND my Math teacher were in a fire drill.

Together, they make one severely disabled person.

My biology teacher would think, “Golly, whoever is blowing their nose sure is being loud about it! I hope that tissue is Bio-degradable!”

Meanwhile my math teacher would say “Who’s getting a B grade in my class? Hmmmm…cancel the twommmhhmmm, divide by threemhmmmmhhmmm. Wow is it hot in here, or is it just this chalkboard that I sometimes drag my fingernails across to drive my students insane? Oh wait, it appears there is a fire. I can tell by the intensely bright light strobing across the room. Thankfully, I have a good set of eyes to make up for my lack of hearing.”


Biology teacher: I also have capable eyes, I just choose to shut them, because it reduces energy, therefore reducing my carbon footprint!